How to deal with flirtatious, womanizing elder in the family?
Question:
My father in law considers drinking and womanizing as birthrights of a man. Every time he stays with us there is some unpleasant episode. He tries to flirt with our maid which is extremely embarrassing for us and I have to make up stories about his mental state. I being a daughter-in-law have to bear the brunt of it. If he goes out with my husband and some irrational desire is not fulfilled he'll start shouting and screaming and any passerby would think that the father is being abused by the son. Please let me assure you that he is of absolutely sound mind and is considered excellent company fo his friends. I realize that parents are entitled to every respect that children can give them but what can I do because, respecting him as a father and grandfather has become very difficult. My upbringing demands that elders are given unconditional respect. I don't want to go against any teachings of my religion but right now I'm very close to hating him. Please tell me what should we do about him?
Response:
Yours is a particularly complex problem. But having gone through your message, I am quite convinced that you should arrange for your father-in-law to stay at a place where there aren't any women. It is the duty of your husband and because of him you too to provide him with comfort, but it is equally your duty to protect your honour and that of your daughter, visitors, and maids.
Please ask your husband to arrange for a separate accommodation for him; he should be looked after by a male servant; your husband, and, if you feel like, you too, in the company of your husband, should visit him every now and then and keep inquiring about his welfare on a daily basis. That would do for your husband's and your duty towards his father.
Please do it quickly before something, God forbid, untoward happens.
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