a) Why is polygamy allowed in Islam?
b) Can I live in a non-Muslim country, being in my early forties as a mother of two young girls without getting married again?
c) My mother is a good lady but sticks to her Lahori-Ahmadi views. Why could it be so?
d) What do I need to do to help my mother?
Answer
a) Islam allows polygamy but doesn’t insist that every man should go for it. Permitting someone to do a thing is one thing and to call an act desirable is quite another. At times there could be reasons that might compel a man to marry a woman other than his wife. In fact, to forestall such a possibility would, at times, create many moral and social problems.
b) If you are living within the moral confines of Islam, living alone with your daughters is not against any of the Islamic injunctions. What you need to ensure, however, is that no person is allowed to take the liberty to exploit you or your daughters simply because you are a male-less household. Of course, if there is a good proposal that was acceptable to your daughters too, it wouldn’t be a bad idea. I know that it isn’t easy to come by. As I mentioned, there is absolutely nothing wrong Islamically if you continue to live like that.
c) I can understand that at times good people can become inflexible on certain matters. Religious belief is always a touchy subject. May the Almighty forgive your mothers attitude in this regard and enable her to accept the truth and to continue to function well the way she has been always doing.
d) You don’t have to do anything except to accept, uphold, and follow what you think is the truth. If you get an opportunity to talk to your mother, tell her politely what you think is the correct understanding. However, you can’t force anyone to accept what you think is right. Once you have tried to help her understand what the truth is, you have done your job.