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Followup on free mixing between the opposite sexes: querying the ‘the extent’

Referring to your answer on “free mixing of opposite sexes”, with all due respect, I feel that you have not elaborated the principles and their practical implications vis-à-vis all environments. I am having a lot of problems in understanding the extent of this implication wherein no boundary is marked. For instance, every time I come face to face with a friend of the opposite gender, I am caught up in this dilemma as whether I should initiate a talk? If not, should I greet her? Should I avoid her after that? Already people think I am having some attitude problems. So, in a nutshell, my question is: what is ‘the extent’?


I can understand your anxiety about the matter, and I want to congratulate you on realising that there is a problem. It is an important starting point towards making progress.
I do understand that the environment at some educational institutions doesn’t allow us to fully realise our spiritual potential. However, let’s not forget that God Almighty knows our limitations, on the basis of which He is going to judge us. I can tell you just broadly to take care of a few things: Guard your eyes as much as you can; as soon as an evil thought crosses your mind, try to seek help and forgiveness from your Merciful God. Don’t allow yourself to be in the company of those people who make fun of these concerns of yours. It is alarming to realise how effectively Satan is able to influence us through bad company. In my opinion, there is no harm in saying ‘salaam’ to the fellow girl students or exchanging important information with them, if you are used to taking the precautionary measures the shari’ah has required us to follow. However, indulging in detailed discussions is something you should avoid. Do try to eliminate the possibility of being alone in the company of a girl student. Keep a regular check on your feelings. If you will do that, you wouldn’t need to ask anyone about what situation to avoid. Do specially worry about the quality of your prayers. Quite often, disturbed prayers have something to do with one’s behaviour towards the opposite gender.
According to a famous hadith, one of the five questions which each individual will have to answer on the Day of Judgement, before which he will not be allowed to move even an inch, would be on the manner one had spent one’s youth in. If you guard yourself against the threats to your morality, the spiritual reward you are certain to get as a young man in this world is immense.
My answer to you is equally relevant to girl students as well.