Khalid Zaheer
“I am convinced about the veracity of my opinions, but I do consider it likely that they may turn out to be incorrect. Likewise, I am convinced about the incorrectness of the views different from mine, but I do concede the possibility that they may turn out to be correct.” — Imam Shafa’i
MORE Q/A

Conversion to Islam and Non-Muslim Family .

Question:
I have an atheist upbringing (and catholic education) and want to convert to Islam. The resolve to do so is clear and absolute, so there is no difficulty for me in a decision, but there are difficulties with the process. I don't know many people here that can help me with practical aspects of living an Islamic life, such as learning prayer, studying Arabic and reading of the Qur'an, although I am trying to meet people that can advise and teach me. In the absence of guidance I am scared by my ignorance at the moment, and would appreciate any advice that you have for me about what should be my steps. If you have advice or can suggest readings on any I would be very grateful.
There is, however, another issue on which I would like to ask for advice. My situation is difficult because I am married with two children, both boys. My wife is atheist. She and I are estranged and in the process of divorce. There are many reasons for this, but we both love our children and want what is good for them. We may disagree on what is good for them, but we communicate well and with respect for each other where the children are concerned. The children are with my wife and I see them regularly. As long as that is what she and the children want, they will remain primarily with her. But it is very important for me that my children know and understand me. Where possible I want them to learn values from me that give them strength in their own lives, and to provide them with security and sanctuary when they need it. However, my wife will not accept any attempt on my part to talk to them about religion. In order for me even to do so raises many practical concerns; what happens when they are with me at prayer times, or during fasting? But, more importantly, it raises for me the problem.

Response:
There are many books you can read to learn more about Islam. One of them is "What Everyone Must Know About Islam and Muslims" by Suzanne Haneef. However, a better way would be for you to ask questions and seek answers to them f rom sources you have confidence in. You are certainly going to confront situations where opinions are in conflict. Don't worry too much on such occasions. Simply follow the voice of your conscience, which I believe is greatly helped by your intellect. My website www.khalidzaheer.com is an ordinary attempt at presenting Islam the way I understand.

I can understand your concerns about your wife and children. You don't need to worry too much about them. Let them know about your views as best and as intelligently as you can. Don't try to impose anything on them. You are responsible for your own conduct. As for others, you can only help and pray. God is very considerate. He will not punish anyone who is trying to find the truth earnestly.

When you are praying or fasting and they are around, tell them politely what you are doing. That will give you an opportunity to explain if they ask questions. If they don't, it will be a way of silently letting them know your poi nt of view. In short, think of ways of influencing them intelligently and pray for them. In the process, you will grow spiritually.

I have written a couple of blogs on Atheism. Please have a look at them. You are most welcome to ask me questions whenever you feel like.

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